Name:Lindsey Country:United States State:Arkansas Metro:Fayetteville Gender:Female
Interests:reading, swimming, theatre, traveling, making crazy home videos and learning new things. Expertise:Random facts, arguing, organizing, and an original sense of humor. Occupation:Student
So I’m like, doing this inspection of this creepy family’s house and they open a door and have me walk into a room. It looks like a grandmother’s house, like, all old and disused and full of cats. So I’m thinking, ok, this is the grandparent’s side. But then I realize that A) they have not come in with me and B) they have locked me in. So I jiggle the door knob, bang on the door for a bit, and then decide to look around to see if there’s another way out.
Around the corner there is a girl who is looking very near to death lying on a couch. She says something to the effect of me being there to replace her. The cats are starting to get antsy and they’re all coming up to us and rubbing on our legs, some of them hissing. I’m like, hey, where’s the cat food? Maybe we can get them to leave us alone. The girl looks at me and says, “You still don’t get it, do you?” She takes a small knife, cuts open one of her fingers, and hangs her hand over the couch. The cats all crowd around to lap up the blood from her hands. Then I understand. She’s been feeding the cats her blood and I’m supposed to do this when she dies. The creepers who locked me up are trying to complete some ceremony to open the portal to hell.
So the ritual was actually completed when the girl died and the family didn’t need me after all. The whole house got swept down to hell. Except A) I wasn’t dead yet and B) when I die, I won’t be going to hell. So Satan is there. And she looks like Mary Ann from True Blood. And she’s all excited that she has a live person to stay with her. Everyone else, the cats and the people, have all gone to hell proper, but Satan decides to keep my mini-purgatory-esque version of hell like the house, since I was so unhappy there.
I am locked in a domestic Satan’s hell. She makes me play card games for my “salvation,” but she changes the rules all the time. She cooks food, like, real food, but all stuff that I don’t like. I don’t eat anything in case that whole bit with Persephone eating the pomegranate seed has anything truth to it. Somehow, it is possible to win my freedom at cards, but I am getting very frustrated. And the cards you draw do weird things, like make you shrink a la Alice in Wonderland, or make you turn purple. Satan finds all of this hilarious. So eventually some other not-dead people make it to our version of hell and have to join our game too. Only I’m getting close to winning. So girl Satan is getting really anxious and is bouncing back and forth between threatening me and trying to be nice, so I’ll want to stay.
I get up from the game for a bathroom break. I look in the mirror and realize that I am 99 years old now. I’ve been playing cards with Satan for most of my life. And I somehow realize that I am supposed to sacrifice myself so that the others can go back to real life. It’s my time to die and I’m going to Heaven anyway, so I’m not upset about it. I return to the game, make an extravagant bet that I am most not likely going to win, but I do. I beat Satan at a card game. So the other people get to leave and then I died. I died, but I was happy.
Not that I think anyone reads this anymore, but that's ok.
I was hanging out with my boyfriend this afternoon, when I thought I heard a noise and I sat up really fast. He told me that I was like a "marmakeet" when he meant "meerkat". And I obviously thought that it was hilarious. It's like a cross between a marmoset and a meerkat. Anyway, then I found five dollars.
I just dreamt that Heather moved to outside of Jonesboro and her family opened up a restaurant and got a cat*. I was taking a shower in this open, kinda stall thing, in my clothes and apparently using detergent to clean my clothes as well. Chris Serio walked by and I told him about how his picture from Galway was used in an ad for the program on the screens in the Quad dining hall and I got a text message from J.P. Huber. Then some other girl and I got in a fight for shotgun in Heather's jeep* so we could find Ellen Degeneres' house, so I could get her signature for my thesis paper work.
*Heather lives in Virginia and doesn't own a restaurant, a cat, or a jeep.
So I'm at a this restaurant/club which is PACKED with my friend Aaron and there is a really loud band and all that jazz. We stop to look at some stuff at this stall and I pick some stuff out, when he just wanders off, so I'm holding this stuff in my hand and I run off with it, to find him, but then I ran back and sat the stuff on the counter and continued back running after Aaron. But the guy working at the stall and the cop tackle me, cause they said I stole the stuff I had been holding. So I'm FREAKING out, thinking I'm about to get arrested, when I tell them that they should look at the security cameras, because I put the stuff back. After threatening and bullying me, they finally do. But they make me buy it and give me what I had been holding. Whew.
Then I was with my friend Clint on Dickson and I got drunk. (can you get drunk in a dream??) anyway, there were a whole bunch of us in a group and as we were leaving, we came across this water park that was closed down, but all of the rides were working. So we decided to ride on them. In our clothes. But there were so many of us, the cops showed. Only one of my ex-boyfriends was dressed as a cop and he walked me over to his car and the real cops never said anything. But his mom is driving the car and she's really pissed off and my ex confides to me that he is gay now. Um yeah.
And then I get a text from the lady I babysit for and apparently I was watching her kids. I look over at the seat next to me in the car and there is the kid. So I'm freaking out about this now, about having her kid out extremely late, pseudo-kidnapped, while I'm half drunk, so I'm thinking of all these ways to sneak him back into his house without his parents noticing.
